OH, WHAT A SUPRISE

Can you believe it? Baseball's American League won their 5 millionth All-Star game, but this time both leagues dragged us through 15 innings of incredibly stifling ball play, resulting in a -- wait for the exciting part -- 4-3 win. After 15 innings, I want a 2,000-1,456 run count.

Once again, everybody but you and stupid me makes tons of money off a single exhibition game that is no more interesting -- and a hell of a lot less lengthy -- than a Democratic primary.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.